Because Change Happens
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I think my biggest fear is that I won’t have anyone to love; and in turn, I won’t be able to love someone the way I want to be loved.
The ideal situation, ya know, the one that you dream of, doesn’t exist. There isn’t one where I can imagine every aspect of my life in a way where I am content.
Leaps and bounds have been made in my beautiful home state of North Carolina. The way we’re heading, I would be able to marry Prince Charming, but that doesn’t mean that my family will welcome him. Nor does it mean that I will find him.
Most of the time, it seems hopeless. I mean, getting dumped by someone I was starting to truly imagine myself living happily forever with definitely dampened my spirits, my outlook, and my hopes that things would work out for me. I don’t blame it all on him though. I blame it on my indecisions.
I blame most things on my indecisions; my inability to sit still enough to listen to what God wants for me, my clouded opinion on what lifestyle I’m “choosing,” deciphering whether or not this IS a decision… So I remain stagnant.
It’s easy to sit on top of the fence and choose not to stand on either side of it. It is easy to choose not to do the deep thinking, do the processing necessary to see clearly. Is that helpful? Is it worth it in the long run?
I don’t want advice. I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want to be told what to do. I just long to understand my mind. I yearn to make sense of my thoughts.
I pray that one day I’ll find that peace. Until then… I reckon I’ll remain undone.
“Three simple rules in life. 1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it. 2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.”
“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”
Bruce Lee (via ohlovequotes)